Being in the tuition business, we tutors definitely do come across lots of funny moments in class. I started this hashtag to collect some of these moments for posterity.  Kids do really say the darndest things! Hope you have a laugh! :)

From here on, the students will collectively be known as 'Kid'.

Me: Do you know any philosophers?
Kid: John Green.

Me: What's in the bedroom?
Kid: Bed.
Me: What's in the living room?
Kid: Sofa.
Me: What's in the dining room?
Kid: Dinosaur.

Me: So, what does a tailor do? Kid: Oh! is it like Taylor Swift?

Me: Ok, what is 'chaperon'?
Kid: Person who makes macarons.

Me: Alright, tell me what '政府' means.
Kid: Husband.
(政府: government)

Me: *sees tutee rolling eraser dust* What are you doing?
Me: *finds out that tutee aka 'eraser dust boss' has an officer, workers, spies (all recruited classmates), AND a secret book with the method to roll eraser dust.*

Me: Ok, remember to write your name on the worksheet. Kids: My name is NO, my number is NO, you need to let it go, need to let it go

Kid, aged 8: I am a quitter. I want to quit life.

Me: Okay, tell me what your story is about.
Kid: About a man who gets eaten alive!
Me: Okay, write it down.
Kid: *writes*
Me:  *looks at paper* Why did you write 'Man gets married???'
Kid: *laughs*

Me: *sees a huge box of country erasers* Why do you have so many?
Kid: To erase all the mistakes I've ever made.

Kid: *muttering to self while doing a cloze passage* She's a zombie...she's Illuminati.
Me: O_O!

Kid: *suddenly* JOHN CENA!!!
Me: -_-

Kid: *writing compo* "A teenage man came to help."

Me: *Teaching the word 'collect' Me: What do you collect? Kid: Things
Me: What kind of things? Kid: ...Like money? from the ground

Kid: You look like a tired sloth

Me: What are the 3 Rs? Kid: Reduce, reuse, reproduce

Kid: Cher when you find boyfriend cannot find with six pacs one. Me: Why? Kid: When he grows old, it will be like saggy tits.

Me: What are ice cream sticks made of? Kid: Ice cream

~topic on mammals in science~ Me: So... what do babies drink? Kid: HL milk

*writing compo* Kid: He heard the eerie sounds and he turned as white as a sheep.

Me: Hungarians come from the country...? Kid: Hunger.

*writing compo* Kid: I was a happy as a lard.

Me: ...visionaries like Steve Jobs- Kid: Steve Jobs? Is he dead? Me: Yes Kid: I knew it! sounds like a dead name

Haha! What are your favourites? Do you have any funny anecdotes to share?