Archive for May 2015

Read this last night on the bus ride home. It's about a girl, Aysel, who is depressed and wants to commit suicide. She can't commit to it herself, so she finds a Suicide Partner on the net. Enter male protagonist Roman, aka FrozenRobot.

Won't spoil it for ya, but here some parts...there's isn't something very 'quotable' here but yeah：

Anyone who has actually been that sad can tell you that there's nothing beautiful or literary or mysterious about depression.
Depression is like a heaviness that you can't ever escape.
Once I'm gone, I don't want her to feel guilty thinking there was something she could have done.
"All the answers are in this music. Do you hear them?"
Maybe we all have darkness inside of us and some of us are better at dealing with it than others.
It's like your sadness is so deep and overwhelming that you're worried it will drown everyone else in your life if you let them too close to it.

Other things I liked:

Great characterisation of Roman's mum- very typical mother who only wants the best for her son.
The reference to Paradise Lost by John Milton, a book that Stella has recommended me. (Yet to read, but am going to soon!)
The descriptions/feelings of depression in general.
The tackling of such a dark subject.
Made me cry T_T
Captain Nemo
How time passes faster, happier, when you have an end goal in mind (ie the end of your days... o_o)

What I did not like:

The abrupt turn in events. Why did the author follow the typical YA drama? She had it going for most of the book.. quite disappointed.
The romance which cheapened the storyline sobs. Didn't like how it played out.
Parents were rather underdeveloped, which isn't so cool considering the plot hinges on the Dad as well.

Meanwhile, I went to the library to return and borrow books. Got 8 books- and since it's the June holidays, NLB doubled the borrowing quota! You can borrow 16 books now.

Can't wait to get started on my new batch of books. I borrowed Lionel Shriver's We Need To Talk About Kevin again. It's about a mother telling the story of... well, her son did a suicide mission thing at school. I really liked the book though, and went on to read several other Lionel Shrivers.

Been reading a lot about psycho things. Like how 'monsters' reside in these evil people (Dexter, Project Cain, etc. I guess we all have our own demons, our own darkness.

Jess tells me how it's sometimes very... disconnecting (something like that) that I am usually such a happy person, but my posts are sometimes so angsty and scary (the accident post, in particular, lol). Sometimes I look at my own songs and I'm like hnng. I do write happy songs (Spiralling Sunday, Celebrate Today, and does Invincible count?), but I think I do sad or slow songs better. Hahha. It's just the darkness residing in me. It wants to speak. All part of me though. I embrace it.

MisterWives lead singer Mandy says she got sick of writing songs about devastating love, and came up with dance anthems, Reflections, Vagabond and Our Own House. Maybe one day I would grow out of these dark feelings.

(Lol, people are saying how Mandy sounds like Ellie. Personally I think Ellie has a more silver /magic tinged voice. And Mandy has a more... how do you say this. More average but more folksy sound.)

How cute is she though:

Well what I wanted to say is that... I tried and I do not want to write things that don't express myself, even if they seem to be more for public consumption, and are 'easier' to sell. I mean eventually if I ever want to release a radio hit maybe it has to be more 'easy listening' or 'uplifting', but arghh lol nevermind that for now.

But I'm wary of spreading more darkness and sadness too. Not very nice to be spreading sadness right? T_______T

Something I kinda regret nowadays is not releasing my music via an anonymous label. Shouldn't have published my FB page so soon. It's like a self-censor limit. Maybe I should just open another soundcloud account just to experiment with songs and other genres. (Like, I really think if I cover things like Take Me To Church or The Weeknd, the people on my FB (esp the older ones) are not gonna be happy. Lol.)

Idea huh? :)

Wenxin recommended me this book! It belongs to a 'self-help/inspiration/improve yoself' category for me.

Basically the author Gretchen embarks on a year long project to increase her happiness, through various methods. Each month, she focuses on something ie. Energy, Relationships, Being Yourself, Friends, Marriage etc.

What I liked about this book:

Examples of how she carried out her project in her everyday life
How she acknowledges that her methods may not be the best, and that yes, she was coming from a rather 'privileged' position. But everybody deserves to be happier, don't you think?
How she used her own phrases throughout the book and her life ie. "Be Gretchen". I talk to myself a lot in my own head so this stuck with me.
How she chronicled the difficulties in 'being happy' and following her own rules. How she talked about the resentment that built up, how she felt so frustrated etc etc etc

What I didn't like:

The later months/chapters were less relevant to me. I liked the ones at the front more.

Just gonna share some of the parts I liked :)

"Look for happiness under your own roof."
The idea of "Spend out". Use those pretty stationery you have, wear that gorgeous dress. Stop saving it up for something that may never happen. The time to enjoy something is now.
"What's fun for other people may not be fun for you- and vice versa." - This spoke to me because I mostly dislike parties, I rather stay home and read a book.
"Easy to be heavy, hard to be light." It's easy to be negative about many things, and it's harder to be happy.
"I didn't want to wait for a crisis to remake my life." That's right. I don't want to wait for yet another person I know to pass away to rethink my life and priorities, and see posts on FB about how we should treasure the ones we love. Guys, just do it now and start today.
"Sleep is the new sex."
"When the student is ready, the teacher appears." Oh god you can apply this to anything. You only learn when you think you deserve to, I guess.
"Aspirational clutter"- things that you owned but never got around using. See: paints, harmonica, and other things rotting in the drawers.
"I wondered whether my happiness project was selfish, because it seemed self-indulgent to concentrate on my own happiness. By being happy myself, I was better able to make other people happier."
"However, if you want to know how people would like to be treated, it's more helpful to look at how they themselves act than what the say." Look at what they value and act from there.
The 'gold star' concept
"We are happy when we are growing- Yeats"
"Happiness breeds in an atmosphere of growth."This is a very important concept for me because I knew I was addicted to growth and learning new things, but I never knew it was because ... well, the growing process makes me happy. (And this explains why I like reading growth stages in manga : ie. the hell training, the late night cramming and practising etc. GO GO GO!
"I worry about feeling legitimate." Well, this speaks to me. I have a Humanities major that is rather general and most people scratch their heads when they find out what I study. It's not a very straightforward thing as opposed to say a doctor, or lawyer. But anyway I love my major and would have never traded it for anything.
"Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy."- Growth can be painful.
Have a "goals group". Meet every few weeks to push each other on- ie. a writers' group, a music group, etc etc etc. A small community that gives you support. It's both practical and encouraging!
Fun is NOW. Doing what you love is a reward. The arrival fallacy ( that when you reach a goal, you'll automatically be happy.)
Show up. Go the extra mile. Even when you're grumpy, tired and annoyed.
Happy people are people too. They are often used as buoys for others, but they burn out too. They are often taken for granted, but they need care too. Being happy is not very easy or natural, but if you're a SOUL SUCKER, please watch what you do. Your negativity can spread like a virus too :(

More wise nuggets everywhere, check out the book if you're interested!

I'll post more of these when I meet another book that I want to discuss or share some thoughts with :)

Also, in a bid to spread some happy on this blog, here's a liberal dose of cute animal gifs courtesy of this tumblr. Enjoy.

Lol I love these seals.

Hi guys! A very warm welcome to my new blog, skyesoon.com! WOOHOOO! *Confetti*

If you don't know who I am, no worries. Check out my Intro page here!

So, why am I here? I just celebrated the sixth birthday of my Tumblr (speciallyi.tumblr.com), and at the age of 22, I decided that perhaps it was time to grow up a little and have a more coherent blog.

Here are some milestones of my blogging journey!

In primary school, when Yahoo was quite the in thing, I built my own site with Geocities. It had a cool cursor and a guestbook for friends to sign and all. I think it was called 'Bubble Pop' or something like that. Hahaha.

In secondary school, I moved to Blogger and blogged daily about my life. Tons of teenage angst, happenings in school, some existential questions and of course, a tagboard and links to my friends' blogs. This was where I learnt about image hosting, blogskins and how to work with simple html.

Halfway through secondary school I was introduced to Tumblr by one of favourite YouTube artists Gabe Bondoc, and started running a couple of Tumblr blogs. I shut down my Blogger hosted blogs (including some photo ones) and started reblogging a lot. I was a complete Tumblr addict. I loved that it was so easy to share awesome things, while not talking so much about yourself (of course, I still did.) Tumblr was so magical to me. So every day after school, you could find me on Tumblr. It was a blessing? that most of my friends did not use it then too. Perfect place to chill out.

I was so surgically attached to it. Meanwhile I also ran a few Tumblrs like cakelove.tumblr.com and bentoboxlove.tumblr.com where I gathered and created content. These are still occasionally active, and I post sporadically. Later I started a small music Tumblr too, called singingjay.tumblr.com (yeah, like mockingjay. Hunger Games related eh). This was where I shared YouTube covers I liked!

Now, I think I'm done with all the emo, short spurts of blogging and ready to move on!

So here I am.

What is SkyeSoon.com gonna be about? Well, I intend to continue the honesty and tone like my Tumblr, and I will be blogging about observations and other adventures in life. Time to put my sociology skills into use huh...

So... am I a legit Blogger now?
Well, I see myself more of a 'writer'. The term 'blogger' nowadays can mean many things. In Singapore, the classic Blogger does ad placements, receives sponsorships, reviews and all that. And they're usually quite high profile haha. I mean not every blogger does that, but it's the general sense I get when we talk about 'bloggers'. Anybody can call themselves a blogger, or a writer really. It's fine. You can be anything you like. *shrugs*

At first I was quite ehhh about creating a legit 'Blog' with a domain name. I told myself I wasn't pretty enough or disciplined enough to be a Blogger than constantly reviewed products etc. But then today I had a talk with Siew Eng and we had lots of ideas! I am currently at a point of my life where I could still experiment and explore how I want to lead my life, and this is a project I am passionate about as well.

I have been blogging so much in my life, why shouldn't I continue to do it? The difference between this blog and the Tumblr one would be:

1. I create more original content, instead of reblogging and sharing things I've found. This forces me to exercise my brain more too.
2. I am (hopefully) less self-centred and write better here.
3. I can reach more people and start a community because I'm finally taking the focus off of me! More useful insights, less emo ranting. Sounds good?

Alright, I'll stop here now, but I'll post really soon!

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